This quote right here is exactly what I needed to read right now, more than anything.
So yeah this year hasn’t gone how I’ve wanted it at all and I know that is hands down my own fault, well not completely as I did change jobs just as a pandemic hit but I’d say it’s 90% my own fault.
I have hands down just been in an unmotivated depressive slump and I feel worse now than I ever did before I started running and I officially hate my life.
Whilst this is probably not the platform where I should be saying this, I want to come back in a years time (or 2, or 5, or whatever) and know that this was the turning point, the point where I decided it was just not enough and I had to do something.
For now I’m not going to go any further than saying I need to fix myself and then fix everything else, so that’s what I’m working on and after a good look at a really good fucking year for me, 2019, I know what I need to do.
Firstly I need a challenge and secondly way to get to that challenge (thirdly traveling seems to make me happy but that’s probably unlikely this year). Overall something that I can realistic look at and go yeah I think I can do that and well it’s me so after a delightful couple of days in a YouTube rabbit hole, it was a runner aiming for the Barkley Marathon who made a comment about a race they did, which in turn got us looking it up, then we found we could do it in tandem and it was like wow that’s cool.
It took me less than 24 hours to go, “shall we?” and so it was decided because I think I’m mad (we’re mad) and my sister puts up with me (A LOT).
So yep, we’ve decided we’re going to attempt the Coast to Coast race in New Zealand because we’re mad! Neither of us know how to kayak let alone know how to do that much stuff in such a short amount of time but as the saying says, “if it was easy everyone would do it.”
We’ve got a lot of time from now till when we think we’ll be doing it, 4 or 5 years, hopefully 4 as we’d like to re-do Disney for my 40th, Jesus I’m getting old and yes one day I’ll put the race reports up!
The first hurdle is getting myself mentally back in a place where I’m slightly happy. Thankfully our last (unless something scary happens) lockdown ends on Monday which means I’ll be back at work and going to do my weight lifting and also starting to get an action plan back up as I’ve not forgotten the Ironman for my 40th either, that’s still going to go ahead and I’ve got to train for that but being out of lockdown, whilst it’s been nice having time will massively help mentally.
So soon I’ll be Busy, busy, busy, I’m hoping though that I’ll be using this place a bit more, I want to put up my training weeks and see how I’m doing and progressing, I still want 2021 to be my year, I want to finish this year better than 2020.